Rapper Kanye West, also known as Yeezus, performed a miracle earlier this week at his latest concert. Two disabled people, one in a wheelchair and the other with a prosthetic, stayed seated until Yeezus commanded, “And may the disabled people stand,...

Latest News
Scotts Support “Scott” Independence

It is stipulated in our culture that all white, adult males should have the privilege to do what they want within certain, unalienable rights. Some, however, seem to be seeking the freedom of a greater independence, citing infringements upon their independence as enough to warrant changes to today's governmental system. The Scotts are one such group of white, adult males who are attempting to give themselves more autonomy. Nay, these people are working to become independent from the "tyrannical...

University to Add Move-In Crew for Those Volunteering for Move-In Crew

The residence hall committee has agreed to send emails to sophomores, juniors, and seniors living on campus regarding next summer’s plans in their effort to compile a move-in crew to move in the students who are a part of the move-in crew. “We’ve got a move-in crew for the freshman,” explained Jennifer Crane, Director of Residential Life. “We just need someone to move in the students who are volunteering to come to school early to move-in the freshman,” Crane continued. Students...

Arts & Life
Yeezus Performs Miracle, Makes Disabled Person Stand at Concert

Rapper Kanye West, also known as Yeezus, performed a miracle earlier this week at his latest concert. Two disabled people, one in a wheelchair and the other with a prosthetic, stayed seated until Yeezus commanded, “And may the disabled people stand, or this concert shall not continue.” People were astonished that with just that one statement, the two people struggled to their feet. “It was just amazing, the way that Yeezus could just command something like this and have it really happen!”...

Depression in Women On Rise As Workplace Harassment Decreases

The Center for Statistics on Sexual Harassment (CSSH) has recently announced after a 5 year study that women in the workplace are becoming more depressed as the feminist cause spreads nationally. In a dual part survey, the CSSH found that not only are women being sexually harassed less in the workplace, but also that it is causing their self-esteem to drop further than what was expected. Head surveyor, Patrick Hall, described the phenomenon. "It all makes perfect sense, when you really think...

Sports
Robert Griffin III Is More Than Happy To Ruin Your Fantasy Football Season

Sources close to Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III, otherwise known as RGIII, is “more than happy” to ruin your fantasy football season. Despite his injury-prone play, RG III went high in many fantasy football drafts, cursing owners to terrible fantasy football seasons. Many fantasy football owners think it is his exciting play that made him so popular. “I just love watching him run,” said Frank Givens, owner of “The Walking Dez.” “Sometimes he runs so fast, I forget...

We’ve had an Accredited Women’s Rugby Team This Whole Time!

Since its birth in the fall of 2010, Quinnipiac University’s Women’s Rugby Team has made exceptional strides in the world of college athletics. Player Natalie Kosko won Athlete of the Month in September. This past weekend, the team brought the school a 50-17 victory against the Army Black Knights. But you wouldn’t know this without top-secret investigators, a microscope, a Sherlock Holmes--style cloak, or if your only source of athletic news was The Quinnipiac Chronicle. Day after day, I’ve...