When I was a young politician still on the verge of success, there was a time when I believed, (wrongly, I now realize) that this country was the best and the brightest this world had to offer. I used to go around telling all my friends, “Hey check out this democracy thing, it really works!” I was young and inexperienced, you can’t blame me for being naïve.
Now it’s been nearly five years since I’ve taken the presidential oath of office, I’ve been through two elections, and hundreds of debates. I’ve addressed some of the largest issues our country has faced over that time span – everything from war to a declining health care system – and in the end there’s only one thing I truly learned: we’ve made a huge mistake with this whole voting thing. I think the time is now that we, at long last, address this horrific problem that has been plaguing the country for years. It’s time we absolve this democracy.
Listen, I loved voting and a system of checks and balances as much as anyone else, and I truly used to believe in it. But I’ve come to see that it was all just a bandage on a festering wound. Look at this whole government shutdown business! What is the government’s most fundamental job? To govern, of course! And congress, your elected officials, couldn’t even do that.
The free republic has had a nice run, a really nice one, in fact. There were a few good years, right? Remember WWII? We kicked ass then! But now, God, we couldn’t even keep WWII memorials up and running, could we?
It’s over, we need to face that. So tomorrow, let’s all get together and take back this country. Let’s allow some sense and responsibility to finally return to Washington and take over the system. Lets destroy this democratic nation.
I hope to see you all tomorrow at my rally at the Washington memorial. With you at my side, and the entire army at my other side, I know we can bring America back, and we’ll all have a brighter tomorrow.
Thank you, and God bless America.